Friday, October 19, 2007

where does the time go?

gosh, sometimes it's really hard to get time to post here... i feel like i am constantly juggling everything... GKD business, outside teaching, school volunteer work, parenting, wife-ing, the whole thing. my house is a mess - my UFOs are a mess. even taking photos of stuff seems like such a major task at times.
of course, october sucks big-time for me - being the month I lost Matthew (2o years now!). it seems especially hard this year - i expect next year will be as well. this brings to mind the time when i was volunteering at HAND -- an elderly woman came into our meeting one night at the church and i was sure she was in the wrong place until she asked if our meeting was the HAND group. During the meeting, we learned that the day would have been her son's 50th birthday. He had died at birth and she had never been able to talk to anyone about it. She had a daughter subsequently, but she had moved to the East Coast with her husband. The woman was in her 70s and a widow and alone. when she saw our meetings listed in her church bulletin, and feeling sad about this "milestone" birthday, she decided to come to the meeting.
it was good for all of us... she cried and thanked us over and over again for listening to her and letting her pour out everything she had held in for 50 years. it made us all appreciate how fortunate we were to have the group to help us through our grief.
At the end of the meeting, i also realized for myself that the sorrow will always be there, but sometimes it hurts so much, i wish it would go away.
well, on a bright note, i am about to embark on a 16-shop yarn crawl today as I work my way down to Carmel for a weekend knitting retreat put together by Full Thread Ahead. I need the time for myself - even hope to finish 1 or 2 UFOs. I'm hitting 13 shops on the way down, and 3 on the way back home on Sunday, ending up at Nine Rubies where I'll be demonstrating Knitware. anyone who hits all 16 shops is eligible for a drawing for $500 gift certificate from their chop of choice. Gee, wonder where I'll get it?

will tell you more about all of this next week..